Sunday, October 31, 2010

heavy

Misery loves company. I'm thankful I can talk to Anthony; strange that we are in the same boat. It helps to know someone going through a similar situation, it's a lot easier to talk to them over others who aren't in such a situation.

I found some comfort in simply watching TV with Phuong, if only for a short while. Soon, it was time to go. When I left, I felt this heavy emptiness. Apparently, emptiness in the heart defies the law of gravity. It feels like a heavy burden, but hollow and large. I doubt that could conjure up an image of what I felt but these are the words that describe it.

There is no one to look forward to talking to after getting home. 
There is no one to call and ask about their day.
I'm alone. Be careful what you wish for.


I think I will start blogging regularly again, it helps me get my feelings out without having to talk to someone. 

So sorry it's over
There's so much more that I wanted and
There's so much more that I needed and
Time keeps moving on and on and on
Soon we'll all be gone.

Cloudy days

I feel perfectly fine
If I go on with my day,
If the sun is out to shine
On my heart, lonely and grey.

I'm all smiles and laughter,
I'm too busy to notice
And make my day go faster
So my brain won't know this,

But my heart does.
The feeling of missing you
And all in the past that was.
Is this what i wanted to do?

I have to remind myself this,
that I can't let my heart win.
I'm alone because I'm selfish
And want my future to begin.

I'm scared of what could've been
because I don't know anything!
And everything is so uncertain,
I don't know what the future will bring.

All I see is the past,
The mistakes I see everyone make.
And though I wanted us to last,
this chance I just couldn't seem to take.

I'm so sorry for ruining us,
I'm so sorry you are no longer mine!
I can't put away your necklace,
our photos, your face from my mind.

It's not that I wanted somebody else
Or lost interest in our love,
But bad thoughts kept eating at my self
Until they were all I could think of.

You saw a bright future for us.
To me, the light was dimming.
And though I'm such a pessimist,
Of us I just keep dreaming.

Maybe one day we can try again
When we've both had time to grow.
If it was meant to be, then
When we'll meet again, we'll know.