I try to make you happy, you try to make up happy. We both end up sad as fuck.
I did say I want to spend more time with you during your Aug vacation since we didn't spend much time/ no time during your July vacation.
I said it because I love you and owed you at least that much.
But still, shit, I need fucking days to myself. Yeah, even if they ARE on your vacation. I just want to spend one of the last two days of your vaca together and have one for myself so I can tend to other people and things in my life. I obviously don't do work when I'm with you. Shit.
But no. You'd rather assume I don't want to spend either day with you. YOU change the plans. YOU say what you really want, your first choice. Your second choice.
I can't do your first choice so I choose to do your second choice but you won't have it.
And now you change your mind.
Fuck fuckey fuck fuckety fucky fuck.
I said I'd spend more time with you this break so I took off the entire fucking week off work! So there are no unnecessary distractions! You don't think I need the money? FUCK.
But you were so down and depressed last month that we didn't go anywhere so what choice do I have? Don't I have to be a good girlfriend and do at least this much for you????
SO I DO!!!
I do, yet here we are again. Not satisfied with half a week. Wants the whole fucking week. Whoop dee fucking deedooddaaaa I don't HAVE the whole fucking week JUST FOR YOU. I'M SORRY. FUCK.
I don't even wanna go out anymore.
I just want to be a hermit.
I just want to be myself, BY myself, alone.
Love is complicated, and I don't like it.