neuneu

Oct 15th - new (twin) piercings. Jill @  Somatic
Oct 17th - filed for graduation (!!)

Low ass balance in checking, but I haven't been pulling from savings, thanks to odd-jobs. I think I will do o-k when I step out into adult life, if this doesn't already count yet ;)

fre(elance)ing, pottery with kids, nancy work...
keeps me afloat!

blink 182 concert

October 1st was the first time I had ever gone to a concert, and a Blink one at that! I'm satisfied, I don't desire to see any other shows. I wouldn't mind going, and would enjoy them, but I'd die happy I at least saw Blink.

I got a tour shirt too, thanks to bf =)


I'm feeling down. it's from a lot of things.
i don't know if it'll last, maybe i need someone mature and stable. soon i'll be coming into stability and need my partner to be the same. soon enough i'll be 23. i had always planned on having kids around 25, i'm scared now that i've fallen off that pathway. when will i be completely happy with who i have?

time and change

A year is a short amount of time...

So much happens in so little time, but you seldom realize it because it happens so slowly that you don't feel it. Then something reminds you, shocks you a little maybe, and you remember.

On Facebook there's a little section in a side panel that shows you old status updates you or someone else made 365 days ago. I glanced over at it tonight and on this same day last year, I wrote " I love my boyfriend :) "
I clicked on it curiously, wondering why I said such a thing to the world of Facebook. I still don't remember, but it was made out to J.F.
Funny, it's only been a year exactly but if I say these words now, they would be for R.A.
It leaves me wondering, did I mean what I said? Do I mean what I say now? It's only been a year...

But so much can happen in a year, you know.

I got over an old lover and "met someone new," although I've known him all along.
We got to know each other, get intimate and comfortable beyond friendship.
Several movie and dinner dates, several nights staring at the stars and talking about the colors in the sunset, a few holidays and birthdays, gift-giving occasions, a wedding, some hiking and a vacation, roller coasters and parties later we're closer than ever.

I've gotta say that I've never felt this close and comfortable with another lover, nor have I ever felt so cared about and for and thought of so much as by R. Maybe because we based our relationship off of a friendship first? Maybe, probably? Whatever it is, it's working just right. And when I say I love him, I mean it.

A year is a long time.

begin again

I got fired last week and at first I took it pretty badly. I stomped out of there in a huff, haha. But I kept thinking about how I had been working retail for four years now, and that it's good it came to an end. I always told myself to start looking for career-related work but never got around to it until now, really. I just applied for a couple of temporary positions in the HB district/ library, hopefully I 'll get a position. If not, I'll continue looking for other higher paying jobs like bank teller.  I already applied to a couple of banks too. If  I can just make a couple of applications a night, I would be good. job and scholarship applications...

sleepless

i'm getting antsy, and i can't sleep.
i feel really broke, it's already end of june, only two months left to make up tuition. what am i doing?
i should turn off my computer now. i should go to bed, there's no one to talk to anyway. wish i had a certain body next to me tonight. wish the mountains had reception! wish i wasn't on constant alert for notifications.
this world, this world we live in, it's not good for us anymore.

Spring 11

The semester is fast ending and I need to get things done! But I'm a dummy and didn't take days off work so now I have to work things out and around each other.
For tomorrow, I mustmustMUST finish the Sentence-Four-Panels! At least, even if it's sloppy! And hopefully even get started on the final project! My-my. Time to plan things out by the hour!

things to get done:
Illus: 4 panels, final project- 3 cards
Watercolor: 2 paintings
Edss: documents
415: group part, sample projects

Sunday: all day illustration
Monday: class 9-12, tb-test, gym?, edss300 the rest of the day. sushi dinner perhaps?
Tues: edss300 all day: papers, fotocopies, fix, print, arrange!
Wed: classes until 7, hw: 415- fix LP, 2 pgs of content standards
Thurs: class, gym!, illustration & watercolor


....well, I'm actually not good at that but hey! I wrote down a few things just now and reminded myself to get that tb shot. Yay needles!


Here's to hoping I get good grades/ enter the edu program.
As a reward I shall get any of the following!
double tragus, tongue, vch, or navel.

2010 Reflections

It's a Friday night, and New Year's Eve is soon arriving.
I have a couple of hours of stillness before I head out with the work crew to celebrate, let me reflect a little on 2010 and what has come and gone while listening to John Mayer's 'Slow Dancing in a Burning Room.'


Relationships

I spent most of 2010 paired with Jake. I don't regret having been with him, and I don't regret having ended it. Every time I leave a relationship I learn a little more about who I am and what I want, what I need from my partner, what I need in the relationship and secured for the future.

From this relationship, I've learned that getting involved with someone romantically means getting involved with their family as well, it's inevitable. And though my partner's personality or lifestyle may not be totally and completely derived from his family, he will always have been influenced by them somehow. I've also learned that what they do now gives me a pretty good idea of what they will be doing in the future. It's rare for anyone's life to completely change, or even make a good turnaround. Usually, they will just follow the path they've already set for themselves some years ago. I've learned from past relationships that I don't want a partner too attached and clingy, who's a bad kisser, and is self-belittling; someone who gives all his heart from the start without knowing what he's headed for, too serious about life, and awkwardly nice; a boy who does not grow up, only wants to have fun, will go out of his way to make his fun, and is treated as a boy by his family with these reasons so obvious to me, yet he could not see; one who has a self-image problem, and doesn't take enough initiative to change his lifestyle, who loves love too much... the list goes on, and will go on as long as I know who I am and what I want.

But enough with the relationship rant, teeehee.
Some fun things that have happened recently...
1) I wore my giant 6g nose ring to Kula with Phuong, and Sushiboy struck up conversation with me about it, and about his teeny 14g one haha. Phuong left him my number but he was on break, as we saw walking out the place, and didn't get it... THANKFULLY, LISA AND PHUONG WENT TO KULA THE VERY NEXT DAY and Lisa brought me up. He asked for my name and Lisa left him my number again at the table. Too bad I've not heard from him, he seemed cute, although I can't say for sure what he looked like anymore :(
2) I met Jamie last semester, and she's such a cool chick. She invited me to her Thanksgiving kickback, I went by myself and was pretty intimidated at first but ended up making a few friends. I went to lunch with one, DM, and though I thought he was interesting at first I no longer think so. I still owe a lunch date with DB so I will try to carry that out, but I think their lifestyles are real turn-offs. Maybe I'm just not into the richer guys who have free time to do pot. I don't have anything against them for doing it, and hearing them talk about it is interesting somewhat, but that's not what I want for myself..
3) I've been seeing straight-edge instead. I thought the Christmas wrapping was just about the best thing ever. He's definitely getting to me lol.


Work

I'm still working at Walgreens with everyone who originally started at this store. Jeanette was let go some time ago, I'm not sure if this was in the past year. Not a great loss at all, tbh lolol. Losing John was rather unfortunate though. I feel like, with the way I card smokers, I might get caught in their stupid traps too. :/

In addition to Walgreens I also work as a graphic designer! I think this has been the most exciting thing to happen to me in a long long time. It happened so suddenly, too!
Apparently, Chi Ti and Burroughs were having brunch at nearby tables when Burroughs overheard Chi Ti mention that she knows someone who could design her Bicyclist Club's shirts. Burroughs, having been looking for new designers for her small business, came over to the cyclist table and gave Chi Ti her card.
I've been working for her ever since, making whatever small businesses come to her for: business cards, banners, flyers, pamphlets, magnets... I also work on her personal line of pet-themed collectibles. She's a sweet lady, and giving me a raise soon! I'm excited for what 's in store for me =)


School

I didn't do so hot last semester, I got almost all B's save one A and one D!!! It was a Carlos class, sigh. I got an A in enameling though! I thoroughly enjoyed Susanna's class, and hope to take at least one more metals class while I'm still here.
I've decided to go through with the BFA program. I'm gonna work on my portfolio given the chance, and apply for the program hopefully by next year. I hope to graduate in two years, with two degrees. I'm excited and anxious for the future! Teacher? Illustrator? Designer? No one knows.


Memorables

Over the summer I worked with a group of art students and community service volunteers on a mural in Stanton. It was a fairly large wall, standing at 14 feet tall and 60 feet wide. I worked on it with Jake, too, and so his name will be along mine on the wall for as long as the painting stands. It looks adorable, I love the colors and the message. I drew all the people! =)

I've picked up an interest in ceramics and fabrics, LOL. I want yarn now more than ever, and want to learn foreals how to make stuff! I don't really wanna do more ceramics but I keep an eye out for unique ceramic things, like this adorable set of half-cups that form one mug together. It looks like it was made cheap, but I got it at Goodwill for cheap anyway lol, and it's just so adorable!

I love hanging out with Phuong Lisa and Tuan. Of course Tuan is not usually here, so we 3 girls tend to have our own fun most of the time. We all have very different goals for the future and schedules but make it all work to get that coffee and tea, and those damn pastries. 85C adventures, errands, The Office, whatever it may be, I love it all. I love my friends!

I've stopped stretching my lobes for a bit, the cold weather had been really harsh on them. While they heal and stay content at 0g, I've been working on my septum piercing instead. I'm at 4g now, and not looking to stop any time soon. I'd like to reach at least 0g there. I'm contemplating what other piercing to get... but I guess I will know in 2011 8)

i am a bad student

I don't think I've ever been so disappointed in myself in school as this semester. a C in illustration? I was doing so well in the beginning, my first two projects got a 10/10 and 8/10 respectively... but it just slid downhill from there. I couldn't/ wouldn't/ DIDN'T keep up with the workload. It should've been my favorite class. It was, actually. I liked working on projects in that class more than in Yu Ji's and in Rick's. I half-half-assed everything in Rick's class pretty much, because I'm a snob and pretty much am sure that I know 100% more about Photoshop and Illustrator than any of those art ed kids, and didn't put my best foot forward. And got an A. C in illustration, A in art ed, is this a sign of which direction to go? Then why does it feel so grim?


Both Yu Ji and Chawla said that it's not about the skill level, obviously I can produce quality work. But I don't. Being lazy gets you nowhere in this industry (or any other, for that matter). Both of them gave me a C. Is this what I needed to step up my game? I don't know. I hope so. Six classes next semester though, this shit's tough.

I'm going to make up for whatever my "portfolio" lacks by drawing and painting this summer. I need to get a move on.


A in sex ed and A in art ed, two totally dumb classes. Cake classes, safety nets, whatever. I don't feel happy for receiving these A's. I just feel a little relieved for my poor GPA, but no satisfaction.

Sigh.


edit: I got a B in Mesoamerican Art Hist. I actually did work for this class, went to every class and studied and read. I didn't do all of the necessary work, but I did the work. I am a straight B student this semester, one step down from last semester (B B B B... A. lol). OHBOYOHBOYZ.

Greek is my savior

I know it's lame, but this show gives me so much insight into... well, a lot of things. Most of all, of course, is relationships. Yesterday's episode is especially freaky. It brought up a lot of good questions and a lot of good points about how relationships work out, for short term or the long haul.

Casey is ready to graduate and go on to law school, grow up and move on with her life beyond college. Cappie is not, he just wants to stay in college until he's ready to leave the party life.

This is how they were brought up: Casey's are "regular" people, who mentally grow up and work and live according to social standards. Cappie's are unconventional hippies, they didn't marry, they traveled a lot, and believe education is lifelong so he should stay as long as he wants, because he has the money to anyway.

The two love each other, though, so how can they work it out? Casey keeps thinking of the future, and how it doesn't seem possible if they are on such different tracks. Cappie doesn't want to worry about that, and just live in the moment, and worry about graduation when it comes. "We'll worry about it then," he keeps saying.

And then someone said something that really hit me. Some loves aren't meant to last forever. Some loves are short love stories, but love stories nonetheless. In the end, Casey accepts that she and Cappie love each other and work well together, but only in college. Their love story is a short one. Once college is over, so are they. 

Where does that leave me? 

It makes me wonder, did I end things too hastily, worrying about the future when the present isn't even certain? This uncertainty is what kills me. Our relationship was the kind that was serious, the kind you'd consider for the rest of your life. I didn't know if I was ready for that, especially at 20 and with both of our futures so unsure. I didn't want to do him wrong but in the end, did I anyway? Should I have let our relationship go on, as long as we're happy, until we're no longer? And not worry so much about the future? Should I have let it be a short love story, if it was one, hoping it could develop into a long love story? I feel like I threw out something good before its expiration date, when I don't even know what that date is, or if it exists. What have I done...

A very personal post.

We're usually happy when we are together, whether with other people or by ourselves. If a problem arises, it quickly gets solved. We're just very happy when we're together... but not so much when we are separated.

The truth is we just can't and won't see eye to eye. In order to do so would mean changing ourselves for the other person, doing what we don't want to do in order to please the other. I think that could be okay when it comes to habit-breaking, but this isn't a habit to me. It's just how we are as humans; it's how we show our love for a person. If someone had to change themselves and limit their love or show more than they want to, they aren't as happy as they would otherwise be.

I'm really happy when I'm with you, but it's the moments when I'm not that really count. Those times are what tell me whether we will work or not. There are a lot of jumbling thoughts in my head and I'm trying to put them all down in writing but it's hard and brain racking. Yesterday's talk really got me thinking, especially because you challenged me to end it. I almost did, then and there. I didn't act irrationally though, I wanted to think about it first. I thought it about it on and off the whole day, and all the pros and cons of our relationship, and things like that. It hurt but it's true, as true as I see it in my eyes.

Besides the fact that we will never agree on what's too much/ enough of each other when we are not together, there were some other important things to consider.

I don't like cigarettes. I have never liked them in my life. Sometimes, they look good on a person, and I admire the entire image... from a distance. It's also one of those things that somehow made you look good and confident, even though I hate them, I began to like you. Not because of them, but they did add to your image. I ignored my hatred for them, because I couldn't smell them on you or taste it or even see it. There was one time you decided to smoke after we had lunch and I was just waiting for you while you did... I didn't like it. But I just took it as it was. Then after that I rarely ever got hints of it from you anymore, so it bothered me less and less... but once in a while it would rise up as a problem for me because I'm not that amazing at hiding how I feel about things. You said you want to try to quit, and I know you can go for several days without them but the truth is I don't think you could ever quit. It's what you do when your friends are over, it's part of how you socialize with them. It's like how you quit drinking and drank coke when your buddies would drink alcohol, but how can you replace a cigarette? You can't. It's now become a part of your life, a part you can't let go of, for understandable reasons. But just because I can understand why doesn't mean I should be happy or tolerable of it. I'm sorry I can't be more accepting.

But that, that's a habit. Of course in every relationship, one person's habits are going to irritate the other person and vice versa, it's just how it is. These people can either learn to cope with it or to not, and leave. In my case, I did decide to cope with it. I did, just like I know you had to cope with my bad habits. So really, this isn't the big problem, but it is a small one that just adds to it.

The big problem goes back to the beginning of what I've been trying to say. We just don't see love the same way. And it's not fair for you to be the one who loves me more than I love you. When you said that yesterday, so strongly like it was fact, I believed you. I thought damn, he's right. Looking at things, he does love me much more than I love him. Or, at the very least, he shows love more than I show it to him. Is that fair? Even if you say it doesn't matter to you, you accept it? It's not fair, because that just means there is someone out there who can bestow their love on you as much as you would on them.

The most thought provoking thing you said last night though was, "If you don't love me anymore then why don't you just end it?"
I didn't know what to say to that. I really almost did. If any words had come out of my mouth at that moment, they would've been, "Fine, then it's over." But I knew better and kept my mouth shut. I needed to think about this and process what this meant.

Never had you ever challenged me with such a question, such as I have never you. So why did you say it? I wondered about this for the longest time. All it means to me is you're not happy, but you're only now finally showing it. You're not happy with how I'm so aloof and don't seem to care about us, even though in my own way I do. You don't think I care because I didn't call you soon enough, when only about an hour passed between the time when I got home and the time you called me angrily. An hour after work for me to relax and spend time by myself and do whatever I want to do. An hour I really need and want, as a person, for myself. Sometimes I just don't want to talk. Sometimes, a simple goodnight is enough. That though, would never be enough for you. We just don't agree.

So what do we do now? Where do we go from here? It seems like every time we advance and move on from this problem, we take a step back down within a few days. We can't seem to move past it, we can't seem to advance. Are we just going in circles now?

I care for you. I meant it when I said I love you. I do love you. I also wonder though, if love is really enough.

My parents love each other. I don't think that's enough.
The way they grew up determines how well they get along. The families they grew up with, the things they were taught, the things they did or didn't do.
I see now that upbringing is so, so important. I can't overlook it, as much as I want to believe I can and that it shouldn't matter so much, only the present does... but that's not true. Your past determines your present, and ultimately your future. Lately, I have not been able to see a future with you anymore. Not one without the same fights my parents have. Not one without the same ordeals my mom goes through every day, because even though dad calls home out of caring, it gets too much for my mom. My dad cares more than my mom. It doesn't work out well, I don't like what I'm seeing.

I know we've barely had any fights, which is good... so why now? And why with so much impact that it makes me reconsider everything we've been through? The thing is, this isn't some little thing. It's a very big deal. It's very important in deciding if we are compatible. It's not some little bickering over habit-related problems that are much easier to deal with and solve. I don't think this is solvable.

I don't know what else to say. I don't think there is much left to say except I'm sorry that this happened, but I'm not sorry that we happened. I never fell for anyone so fast and so hard as for you. I knew you were the one I could trust with my body and mind and heart, someone I could trust with the entirety of me as a person and a lover and a friend. I wasn't wrong about that. I don't regret it one bit. I do believe now though that we fell into a relationship much too fast, before we could truly get to know each other beyond the "I like you because you're funny and sweet." It was a whirlwind romance, one that romantic movies live off of... but in real life, it doesn't work that way.

I tried to organize my thoughts and feelings but I don't think I did a very good job. I repeated things several times, and some things I wanted to bring up I can't remember right now. I did my best.

On School, Love, Friends, Work

School

All final grades are posted; I got straight B's... + 1 A! WOOHOO?

I need to step up my game. I did better than I had feared, but I know I could've done better. I know I could've!

I don't usually get to go on vacation but this winter break, it's on! Hooray for the traveling Tran sisters, roundtripping from LB > Boston > NY > Boston > Spain > France > (European train trip!) > France > Boston > home =)

I will miss everyone. I will miss Jake dearly. He's been with me for what feels for so long I don't really remember the single days, haha. And honestly, for the first time in a long time (in a relationship), I don't miss those days. I'm happy where I am, with whom I am with. 

Love

You know hon, things have been so so very good with us I just can't imagine why it would ever go bad. It's a very optimistic view, I know, but isn't that a good thing? Isn't that how it should be, to be hopeful for us, whether we are in a good or bad situation? Always have heart and always have hope for love to grow. I like where we are heading, I love the way it feels. 

Friends

I love my friends =) the ones that I have held onto for the past several years.

Phuong, you're so funny and natural, and gross because you're too natural sometimes, but we get along amazing, bff. Thank you for the very thoughtful gift. I now know what it's like to get a tattoo you don't like and have it stay on forever. But hey, it finally washed off!

Tuan, you are my bff artsy fartsy buddy and I love you for it! Thank you for the very heartfelt card. I think this is the first time I've gotten you nothing. I will make up for it promise!

Lisa, you're as natural as Phuong, I love that about you girls. You're easy-going and hilarious and thoughtful. Thanks for sharing your pass with me whenever you could, I really appreciate it. Must get you something in return.

Anthony, I haven't seen as much of you lately as I have had in the past, but we're still good buddies and I love that. Sometimes I wish things were like how they used to be, but as for yourself, please don't ever change. 

Rosie, we haven't hung out much more either... =( I often think about those times, those very hilarious nights out we had so many of, to drown our boyfriend-less lonelinesses. But look what happened! We are both taken now, and taken away from each other. Hopefully we will get to hang out more, cos I wanna go back to Mochilato this summer!

Annelee, you're too cool for me. And things have been very rough for you lately, I hope 2010 brings sunnier days. Things are looking good right? I mean, I get the feeling that you don't believe you can get whatever cutie you want but lookie loo, you're getting all kinds of cuties wanting to call you up and go out with you, and you're turning them down. HAHA. I'll be seeing you soon roomie!

I've made a few friends here and there and I think the newest person I think I could have a good solid friendship with would be Ichi-Noodles. We'll see though, I guess! 

Work

The workplace just hasn't been as pleasant as it used to be when it first opened, or when Ethan was around. Kassem is hated, everyone wants everyone else to call the hotline so that he can get transfered outta here. GET OUTTA HEA! People are jealous of others because of favoritism; this person is getting more hours, this person is more privileged because of such and such, blah blah blah. GET OVER IT! Improve yourself, maybe you will get those privileges. 

Customers give me headaches, what with all the coupon-system-cheating and whatnot. SIGH. Please, just get your item and go! No, I will not ring you up at my counter because Register1 told you you've reached the item limit. GO HOME! GO! HOOOMEE!

I'm gonna go to France soon, I'm so excited,... but for now, I'm going to bed. Goodnight, world.

Nice to meet you, Miss Sherani.

Today is the very, very last day of Thanksgiving break. Did I get any homework done? Hardly. But it's been a really good week... =)

Monday: AAHHH first day of break! Hold on, AnneLee calling. What? We have class today? You sure? Fuck it, I'm not going! Personal furlough day.

Tuesday: I should start on homework today =X. What, Ruby? We still had to go to the middle school? Ah shiet, sorry girls! Personal furlough day! sorri sorri sorri!

Besides those two mishaps.. A lot of good has happened! Went to eat crawfish with Phuong (her treat!), then Passion Yogurt (her treat too!) where I tried the condensed milk with the stuffs, SO GOOD, then whatever whatever... Another day, ent out with Phuong and Lisa to Outer Limits (Anaheim) to meet her artist and set her design straight, went to Flame Broiler with them to visit Anthony (but he was busy, and manager was there; my treat this time), went back to her place for some hair curling fun... Work, omg new manager :( he seems alright so far, but maybe it's cos I don't have a job of much importance (and I'm only there 2x a week) so I don't notice that he bosses everyone around and tells them to change a lot of things and keeps springing up new projects on them. It's all hearsay so far.

Ethan moved to a higher volume store in LB. John told me that Ethan wanted to transfer to his store. I saw opportunity, I told Jake that maybe if he transferred to Ethan's store he could get promoted! I just told him that today and when he surprised me at work earlier, Allan told him the same thing! I am really hoping that he will. There's just so much more of a chance for a promotion that way than staying at his current store. If anything, he can always transfer back, right? But Opportunity, he is knocking, please answer him! (*crosses fingers*).

Oh yeah, Jake visited me at work today =) totally unexpected! I was ringing up a frustrating customer with a ton of shit, and she kept talking and talking and double checking those were all on sale or for coupons and blah blah and I turn around and I see my honey, looking so handsome ^.^! Too  bad I was cashier =( and couldn't spend more time with him. He brought his nanai's puto for me. His nanai was in the car. LOL. Aw my sweetiee <3. I'm lucky. teehee!

Speaking of work, I met a wonderful person there today. I saw him walking around the store and took notice of his highly voluminous and gravity defying hair. Jealous! Lol. I rang him up at the front register and the conversation kinda went like this:

me: Heey, I like your hair! How do you get it to stay up like that??
him: Hairspray! You have to use hairspray, and you have to tease it!
me: Yeah! I tried doing that before even with shorter layers than yours but it wouldn't stay up! What brand do you use?
him: Oh I don't remember... it's in my car, let me go get it!
*rings up stuff*
*leaves*
*returns... with AQUANET!*
me: I knew it! I know it's good, people are always saying it's cheap but really good, I used to use it, but I use Aussie now.
him: Oh that's a really good brand! But yeah all you gotta do is spray a little bit, then tease it, then spray it again.
me: Yeah wow your hair is really nice and fluffy, I tried before but it wouldn't stay up for long, how long ago did you do your hair?
him: Oh like an hour ago, I usually wear a wig but I was in a hurry so I did this in the car using the rearview mirror, it really looks good?
me: Yes! Especially for using such a small, narrow mirror!
him: Thank you you're so nice! What's your name? *reads nametag* You're so nice! I'm so self-conscious about it but you make me feel better about it now.
me: You're welcome, I thought since I like it, I should compliment it and let you know!
....

His name is Sherani (spelling?). We shook hands, "nice to meet you!"
He said he will be back. I am looking forward to my new customer ;)


I'm getting better and better at selling! The other day I was ringing up a man who was buying just this one cheapo makeup set. I made him leave with that + 3 bottles of lotion + 1 bottle of body wash. MMM I R GOOD. And another man told me, as he and his wife were leaving, "You're a good saleswoman." THANK YOU SIR! EHEHEHEHE


....MMMMmmmm..... last puto!

The Grove, LA.

Jake took me there yesterday and it looked lovely. We arrived pretty early, so we caught the 5:00PM showing of Ninja Assassin. I could tell from the trailers that it was a bloody movie, but the blood and gore and dismemberment of limbs blew me away... and backed me up into my seat. and into Jake's arm. Which I was holding onto for dear life HAHA.

Afterwards we took a little walk and had some fresh air. It wasn't all that cold, even though it was snowing! =) Snowing little puffs of foam, lol.

It was pretty crowded so we decided to go TGIF back in LB. Yummy yum yum! P:

We didn't have much time left over afterwards but just enough to enjoy ourselves before I had to go home. Such a good day, hon =) Thank you  for a wonderful date =)

---
Today is Thanksgiving. What are you thankful for?
Family, friends, special person of mine, school, opportunities to be professional, learning new skills, a new work environment I actually like, ...

Speaking of which, I went out and blew a ton of money at Walgreens again. I think I spent like $100 there in the past week. IT'S CRAZY! It's like, I fucking work there for a day for free! At least at Big5 I was never interested enough in spending on anything... But make-up? Yummy smelling lotion? Candies? Junk-I-don't-need-but-it's-cheap? ARGH WALGREENS!! <3


On another noteOMG I'M FUCKING EXCITED FOR ALL MY JEWELRY TO COME HOME!!!
Anatometal gem eyelets, Tawapa flourish, gold eyelets, heart cut out eyelets, ETC ETC I'M EXCITED AS SHIT! AND IT AIN'T EVEN CHRISTMAS YET, HAPPY THANKSGIVING 'ERRBODY ROUND THE WORLD (US only)!

headachacha

All this thinking about my career and education and future is killing me.

So, I think this is the way it's gonna be:
I'm gonna drop Illustration; not that I've ever added it, hehe.
I'm gonna get my BFA in Studio Art (Painting & Drawing?), with emphasis in Art Edu.
I think the way I'm going now is just getting a BA in Art Edu, WHICH IS LOWER, which I do not want...

And I'll still be able to vie for an MFA, because as research has shown me..., there are a lot of people out there who enter the master's program without even having a BFA or even an art-related BA. But, I'll have to see about it with June Borba... soon.

Registration for Spring in a week, eek!

i'm welcomed =)

I went out with Jake yesterday night but instead of a regular date we went to his much beloved uncle's place. Originally the plan was for a (3) couples' dinner night, but it turned into a family thing, with aunts & uncles & cousins & a grandma and a dad and a sister and her bf and meee... hehe

Everyone was really cool and nice. I like that they're not awkwardly quiet blahblah. They're fun! They compete in wii bowling, lol. It was a fun night. And an aunt invited me to her daughter's 5th birthday this coming saturday. SHE REALLY DIDN'T HAVE TO, I DON'T UNDERSTAND TAGALOG, SHE COULD'VE SPOKEN IN CODE! I still have to think about what to get her. ^^;


We've only been going out for a couple of weeks, but a lot has happened since, and it feels like we've known each other longer. I'm hoping he's a keeper. Please?

JF

so lately, I've been talking and spending time with Jake, but mostly during breaks at work. In a few days or a week or whatever we've become pretty comfortable around each other. Definitely more so than this time last week... haha.

It's a cute story (to me), how we met. I'm gonna miss working with him, a bit... lol.

He took me to school so I could make it on time to pay tuition after work. Then we went grocery shopping and stopped by Annelee's. Hung out and had dinner, it was a nice night =)

I feel like he's a keeper, but I guess we'll have to see.
I still have that fear inside me. I fear I can't do it.
If I screw up, he would be a great loss.. =(