begin again

I got fired last week and at first I took it pretty badly. I stomped out of there in a huff, haha. But I kept thinking about how I had been working retail for four years now, and that it's good it came to an end. I always told myself to start looking for career-related work but never got around to it until now, really. I just applied for a couple of temporary positions in the HB district/ library, hopefully I 'll get a position. If not, I'll continue looking for other higher paying jobs like bank teller.  I already applied to a couple of banks too. If  I can just make a couple of applications a night, I would be good. job and scholarship applications...

i'm a mess

stressing out because i can't keep my shit together for art ed. i'm so behind in the paperwork. why do i just go home? why don't i set aside time at school to see the counselors?
and all this time i was telling myself it's because i'm concentrating harder on illustration but let's face it, i'm not. i didn't even submit the portfolio. how is this semester the most overwhelming, when i am only taking 12 units? some kind of anxiety about leaving the school-world? i can't take this.
like my room, so is my self.

2010 Reflections

It's a Friday night, and New Year's Eve is soon arriving.
I have a couple of hours of stillness before I head out with the work crew to celebrate, let me reflect a little on 2010 and what has come and gone while listening to John Mayer's 'Slow Dancing in a Burning Room.'


Relationships

I spent most of 2010 paired with Jake. I don't regret having been with him, and I don't regret having ended it. Every time I leave a relationship I learn a little more about who I am and what I want, what I need from my partner, what I need in the relationship and secured for the future.

From this relationship, I've learned that getting involved with someone romantically means getting involved with their family as well, it's inevitable. And though my partner's personality or lifestyle may not be totally and completely derived from his family, he will always have been influenced by them somehow. I've also learned that what they do now gives me a pretty good idea of what they will be doing in the future. It's rare for anyone's life to completely change, or even make a good turnaround. Usually, they will just follow the path they've already set for themselves some years ago. I've learned from past relationships that I don't want a partner too attached and clingy, who's a bad kisser, and is self-belittling; someone who gives all his heart from the start without knowing what he's headed for, too serious about life, and awkwardly nice; a boy who does not grow up, only wants to have fun, will go out of his way to make his fun, and is treated as a boy by his family with these reasons so obvious to me, yet he could not see; one who has a self-image problem, and doesn't take enough initiative to change his lifestyle, who loves love too much... the list goes on, and will go on as long as I know who I am and what I want.

But enough with the relationship rant, teeehee.
Some fun things that have happened recently...
1) I wore my giant 6g nose ring to Kula with Phuong, and Sushiboy struck up conversation with me about it, and about his teeny 14g one haha. Phuong left him my number but he was on break, as we saw walking out the place, and didn't get it... THANKFULLY, LISA AND PHUONG WENT TO KULA THE VERY NEXT DAY and Lisa brought me up. He asked for my name and Lisa left him my number again at the table. Too bad I've not heard from him, he seemed cute, although I can't say for sure what he looked like anymore :(
2) I met Jamie last semester, and she's such a cool chick. She invited me to her Thanksgiving kickback, I went by myself and was pretty intimidated at first but ended up making a few friends. I went to lunch with one, DM, and though I thought he was interesting at first I no longer think so. I still owe a lunch date with DB so I will try to carry that out, but I think their lifestyles are real turn-offs. Maybe I'm just not into the richer guys who have free time to do pot. I don't have anything against them for doing it, and hearing them talk about it is interesting somewhat, but that's not what I want for myself..
3) I've been seeing straight-edge instead. I thought the Christmas wrapping was just about the best thing ever. He's definitely getting to me lol.


Work

I'm still working at Walgreens with everyone who originally started at this store. Jeanette was let go some time ago, I'm not sure if this was in the past year. Not a great loss at all, tbh lolol. Losing John was rather unfortunate though. I feel like, with the way I card smokers, I might get caught in their stupid traps too. :/

In addition to Walgreens I also work as a graphic designer! I think this has been the most exciting thing to happen to me in a long long time. It happened so suddenly, too!
Apparently, Chi Ti and Burroughs were having brunch at nearby tables when Burroughs overheard Chi Ti mention that she knows someone who could design her Bicyclist Club's shirts. Burroughs, having been looking for new designers for her small business, came over to the cyclist table and gave Chi Ti her card.
I've been working for her ever since, making whatever small businesses come to her for: business cards, banners, flyers, pamphlets, magnets... I also work on her personal line of pet-themed collectibles. She's a sweet lady, and giving me a raise soon! I'm excited for what 's in store for me =)


School

I didn't do so hot last semester, I got almost all B's save one A and one D!!! It was a Carlos class, sigh. I got an A in enameling though! I thoroughly enjoyed Susanna's class, and hope to take at least one more metals class while I'm still here.
I've decided to go through with the BFA program. I'm gonna work on my portfolio given the chance, and apply for the program hopefully by next year. I hope to graduate in two years, with two degrees. I'm excited and anxious for the future! Teacher? Illustrator? Designer? No one knows.


Memorables

Over the summer I worked with a group of art students and community service volunteers on a mural in Stanton. It was a fairly large wall, standing at 14 feet tall and 60 feet wide. I worked on it with Jake, too, and so his name will be along mine on the wall for as long as the painting stands. It looks adorable, I love the colors and the message. I drew all the people! =)

I've picked up an interest in ceramics and fabrics, LOL. I want yarn now more than ever, and want to learn foreals how to make stuff! I don't really wanna do more ceramics but I keep an eye out for unique ceramic things, like this adorable set of half-cups that form one mug together. It looks like it was made cheap, but I got it at Goodwill for cheap anyway lol, and it's just so adorable!

I love hanging out with Phuong Lisa and Tuan. Of course Tuan is not usually here, so we 3 girls tend to have our own fun most of the time. We all have very different goals for the future and schedules but make it all work to get that coffee and tea, and those damn pastries. 85C adventures, errands, The Office, whatever it may be, I love it all. I love my friends!

I've stopped stretching my lobes for a bit, the cold weather had been really harsh on them. While they heal and stay content at 0g, I've been working on my septum piercing instead. I'm at 4g now, and not looking to stop any time soon. I'd like to reach at least 0g there. I'm contemplating what other piercing to get... but I guess I will know in 2011 8)

vague update

This is what I get for not updating. Now, I can't remember things in correct order... I'm just gonna recall things as best as I can. =(

Jake and I really jumped at the opportunity to spend more time together for the summer and took advantage of it early on. We went to San Pedro, Malibu, (both days were chilly! pooey),... here there and everywhere =) He got me a new bathingsuit, it's such a happy color lol. Yellow/white striped with hot pink accents! We watch a lot of movies and eat just about everything lol. I'ts great.

Co Be and Ong Ba Ngoai came over for a couple of weeks or so, I was either working or with Jake most of the time, but did take off for a few days to hang out with family. We went to Nevada and Arizona for 3 days on a Chinese tour bus. Fobnesss..... But it was fun, and loud, and confusing. We were the only non-Chinese people on the bus lol.

Las Vegas is shit, I don't like it that much. The heat is too intense, the people just make it worse. The lights and sights are great and all but I enjoyed Arizona so much more than Nevada. We stayed at Hualapai Ranch, so cute and quaint! We had a nice home-style meal and then roasted marshmallows and made s'mores after dinner. CUTE?? yea!
Before dinner though, we went to the Grand Canyon and waited for the sunset. It hit the horizon perfectly, so beautiful =)
They woke us up at 5 AM to watch the sunrise, and it was quite a sight. I've never stayed for both a sunset AND sunrise hehehe, it's amazing.

Besides trips here and there I've mostly been working. Chi Ti found me a job working for a graphic designer, she pays me $15/hr, and she's really sweet. I like working for her a lot!

And I signed up to volunteer work in Stanton on a community project. It's a mural, and it's mostly a group of csulb art students, with some other volunteers. Eventually we hope to bring in the kids to help us, or at least do their hand imprints on the wall haha.

Vincent might write an article on me for Vien Dong newspaper =)! We'll see I guess!

There's just so much going on in life, I love it... though the sun doesn't always shine on all situations, it's beaming on my career path. ah...